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Jejak Remaja Penggerak Program BERDAYA: Yuyun Khairun Nisa

Yuyun Khairun Nisa, atau biasa disapa Yuyun adalah salah satu peserta training “Penguatan Remaja untuk Pencegahan Perkawinan Anak” di wilayah Cirebon. Lahir di Indramayu 19 tahun lalu Yuyun merupakan bungsu dari enam bersaudara. Tahun 2017 ia lulus SMA, Yuyun bercita-cita melanjutkan kuliah dan mengambil jurusan Hubungan Internasional.

Namun karena orang tua masih harus mencari biaya, Yuyun memutuskan untuk nyantri di Pondok Pesantren Bapenpori Al-Istiqomah, Babakan, Ciwaringin, Cirebon sambil kursus bahasa Inggris. Di tempat tinggalnya sekarang ia aktif belajar sambil mengajar bersama beberapa santri senior lain, para ustadzah dan ustadz di lingkungan pondok itu.

Yuyun merupakan contoh remaja penggerak dalam pencegahan perkawinan anak. Ia adalah salah satu peserta Peringatan Hari Perempuan Internasional (IWD) di Kedutaan Belanda Maret 2018 yang diselenggarakan Jaringan AKSI bersama Girls not Brides yang disaksikan langsung Princes Mabel van Oranje. Dalam acara itu, Yuyun tanpa malu-malu mengutarakan keinginannya menjadi Duta Besar, sambil berharap mendapatkan kesempatan sehari menjadi “Duta Besar” Belanda yang akan membahas soal pencegahan perkawinan anak. Sebuah impian yang direspon positif oleh Atase Kebudayaan Belanda yang kemudian meminta Yuyun bicara di depan seratus orang remaja peserta Peringatan IWD.” Saya anak pesantren, saya ingin suatu hari menjadi Duta Besar Indonesia dan ikut mengatasi persoalan perkawinan anak di Indonesia melalui kerja-kerja diplomasi” demikian Yuyun memaparkan impiannya yang disambut tepuk tangan para peserta.

Persentuhan Yuyun dengan masalah kawin anak sudah terjadi cukup lama. Ketika SD, salah seorang teman sekolahnya menikah begitu lulus SD. Ia begitu sedih karena ia tak tahu apa yang dapat dilakukan ketika temannya mengatakan bahwa ia dipaksa kawin. Peristiwa serupa kembali terjadi saat di bangku SMP. Teman seangkatannya menikah menjelang tahun kelulusannya. Dan ketika Yuyun di SMA, lagi-lagi kasus serupa terjadi, dengan alasan yang hampir sama, dijodohkan orang tua dan temannya tak berani membantah karena takut kepada orang tua.

“Mereka takut membantah orang tua, takut durhaka, anak perempuan selalu diajari untuk patuh kepada orang tua, sampai mereka takut untuk membantah, padahal sebenarnya (mereka) tidak mau dinikahkan karena masih ingin sekolah”. Demikian Yuyun menjelaskan alasannya. Peristiwa-peristiwa itu kembali mengusik ingatan Yuyun ketika Ibu Nyai pimpinan pondoknya menunjuknya sebagai salah satu wakil untuk ikut Perayaan Hari Perempuan Internasional di Erasmus Huis Jakarta. Meskipun kegiatan itu hanya satu hari, namun cukup bagi Yuyun untuk memantapkan niat dan memutuskan untuk aktif dalam kegiatan kampanye pencegahan kawin anak di lingkungannya.

Yuyun berpartisipasi dalam sesi sharing pada acara IWD, Erasmus Huis, Kedutaan Belanda, AKSI- UNICEF, Jakarta 2018

 

Wawasan Yuyun makin berkembang setelah ia ikut acara Pemberdayaan bagi remaja untuk pencegahan Kawin Anak yang diselenggarakan program Berdaya Rumah KitaB di Cirebon 24-26 Mei 2018 lalu. Baginya, acara peringatan Hari Perempuan Internasional itu merupakan pintu gerbang untuk membuka wawasan, sementara pelatihan BERDAYA memberikan kemampuan kepada Yuyun untuk tidak hanya menyatakan prihatin, dan tahu lebih banyak tentang permasalahan kawin anak, melainkan mencari solusi terutama yang terkait dengan pandangan soal kepatuhan anak kepada orang tua yang menurutnya sangat kuat di tanamkan di lingkungannya yang senantiasa mendasarkan segara sesuatu kepada pandangan keagamaan.

“Kami berada di lingkungan yang kuat dengan tradisi keagamaan. Ajaran tentang kepatuhan kepada orang tua sangat kuat ditanamkan sejak kecil, terutama kepada anak perempuan. Saya merasa ajaran ketaatan – birrul walidain (tata kepada kedua orang tua) ikut mengkondisikan anak perempuan tak berani membantah orang tua dalam perjodohan. Tapi saya merasa ketaatan bukan seperti itu, sebab perjodohan banyak menimbulkan masalah bukan membawa kebaikan, dan jika perkawinanya buruk, orang tua juga yang susah”.

Dari dua kegiatan yang diikutinya, Yuyun dapat menjelaskan “peta masalah” yang membuat isu pencegahan kawin anak harus ditangani banyak pihak. “ Kawin anak kan banyaknya karena (anak perempuan) putus sekolah, orang tua tidak punya biaya pendidikan, lalu mereka bergaul melewati batas karena tak punya kegiatan, tapi mereka tak cukup pengetahuan soal pergaulan yang sehat, kemudian hamil”, demikian Yuyun menjelaskan alasannya tentang remaja yang terjebak dalam kawin anak.

Lebih lanjut Yuyun menjelaskan bahwa kehidupan pelaku kawin sejauh yang dia lihat sangat tidak menyenangkan. Ia berandai-andai, jika boleh memilih pasti pelaku kawin anak tidak ingin masuk ke dunia perkawinan terlalu cepat “ Bayangkan saja, kami masih bisa lanjut sekolah, bisa mondok di Pesantren, ngaji, bermain, bebas mau ngapa-ngapain, sementara dia dari pagi sampai malam mengurus anak, mengurus suami, masih untung kalau suami mencukup kebutuhannya, teman saya, suaminya masih menganggur tapi tak mau membantunya mengurus anak dengan alasan anak tanggung jawab istri, suaminya asik asik main, naik motor ke mana-mana ”.

Dari keterlibatannya dengan IWD dan Pelatihan yang diselenggarakan Rumah KitaB yang ia ikuti bersama 25 remaja di Kelurahan Kesunean, Kecamatan Lemahwungkuk ini, Yuyun mampu mendaftar sejumlah ide yang menurutnya dapat membantu mengatasi problem perkawinan anak. Untuk internal remaja sendiri, menurutnya, remaja harus diberi pemahaman yang cukup cara menjaga diri namun masih bisa “eksis”, bukan melarangnya gaul. Menurutnya remaja juga harus berani berkata tidak kepada orang tuanya kalau mau dijodohkan sebelum waktunya. Untuk itu menurut Yuyun materi “teknik negosiasi” sebagaimana ia dapatkan dalam pelatihan Pemberdayaan Remaja program BERDAYA Rumah KitaB sangat membantunya memahami cara bernegosiasi dengan orang tua dan lingkungannya. Dengan teknik itu remaja tidak sekedar asal melawan kepada orang tua dan orang tua tidak asal memaksakan kehendaknya dengan alasan anak harus patuh buta kepada orang tua.

Namun Hal yang menurutnya membingungkan adalah ketika orang tua mengalami kesulitan ekonomi dan tidak ada biaya sekolah. Yuyun heran mengapa solusinya mengawinkan anak perempuan mereka meskipun masih anak-anak. Padahal, menurutnya, mereka juga tahu dengan mengawinkan belum tentu rumah tangga anaknya bisa mengatasi kesulitan ekonomi mereka. Karenanya menurut Yuyun harus ada upaya pemberian pemahaman kepada orang tua bahwa mengawinkan anak bukan solusi.

Sebagai santri Yuyun juga melihat pesantren punya kekuatan untuk mencegah perkawinan anak sebab dengan menjadi santri dapat memperpanjang usia anak di dunia pendidikan sambil belajar hidup mandiri. Tentu saja, pesantren pun harus terbuka pada isu-isu yang terkait dengan perkawinan anak agar pesantren dapat mengajari santrinya serta membimbing orang tua santri yang sering datang ke pesantren untuk menengok anak-anaknya. Dalam kesempatan itu Ibu Nyai dapat menasehati soal nilai kepatuhan itu bahwa patuh kepada orang tua harus bermanfaat bagi masa depan si anak.

Yuyun: memimpin role play pada negosiasi untuk pencegahan kawin anak, Program BERDAYA, Cirebon, Juni 2018

 

Sebagai warga komunitas Yuyun juga menyarankan agar tokoh formal mapun nonformal seperti Pak RT, Pak RW, penghulu, tokoh agama dan tokoh masyarakat lainnya, agar lebih peka terhadap kebutuhan dan aspirasi para remaja. Ia berharap mereka menyediakan diri untuk mendengarkan dan berdialog dengan anak-anak muda tentang mimpi mimpi mereka di masa depan. Yuyun menegaskan bahwa mengawinkan anak hanya akan membinasakan impian kuam remaja. [YD]

Sumber: https://rumahkitab.com/jejak-remaja-penggerak-program-berdaya-yuyun-khairun-nisa/

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